It is 7pm on a Thursday night and I’m talking on the phone to Tanja Shirley. I can hear the clank of dishes in the kitchen and the alternating voices of little children in the background as we begin the interview. Tanja calmly answers my questions, but as the calls of “Mama! Mama!” grow louder, I listen as she enlists her husband to take one child, her baby Amara, while she walks me and her “quieter” child, Elliott, up some steps to another location where we can continue our interview.
Tanja is a great multi-tasker. Her natural ability to handle two incongruous situations so well was evident. She is gifted with focus, patience, grace, and compassion. All the qualities of a good nurse. Tanja’s ultimate dream is to become the first nurse assist in an Operating Room. A fitting goal.
But there was a moment when Tanja thought she would never make it to graduation: one multitasking situation she didn’t think she could master. Here’s her story:
When did you decide you wanted to be a nurse?
I always wanted to be a nurse. But going to school for four years was a “no” for me. I was never confident as a student and I struggled with focus.
Then how did you come around to becoming a nurse?
I had gotten married and had my son, Steven. But when I got pregnant again, I freaked out; I knew we couldn’t afford two kids on our income. My husband was doing his second year of an apprenticeship in the insulator’s union; my job working for a health insurance company wasn’t enough.
I was venting about it to my neighbor, who is a respiratory therapist. She really was the person that opened me up to the possibility of becoming a nurse. From her own experience working with nurses, she convinced me I’d be a great nurse! I expressed to her that I didn’t want to be in school for the next four years and she told me about a local Associate Degree in Nursing program that a lot of the nurses she worked with formerly attended. Immediately I looked up Carrington College in Reno, plugged in my information and within a few minutes as we were still talking they called!
So, you returned to school after all. How did you get over your dislike of school?
My nine-year old son Steven was very helpful. We would do our homework together; he was excited to learn with me. He would ask questions, and it motivated me to do it.
Once you decided to go to Carrington College, how did you handle the childcare?
I started when Steven was six and Elliott was six months old. I signed up for the night cohort; my husband worked from 5am to 2:30pm, so we tag teamed for the first two semesters and that worked really well. But childcare has always been a struggle. I had a sister to help, but she’s been working a lot and some close friends helped for a while. We finally had to get a nanny.
What was the most challenging aspect to staying committed to your goal of graduating?
Financially it was difficult. My husband had to work two jobs eventually. I tried to have a job too, but it really worked best for him to support us. The most challenging moment of all was when I was surprised by a third pregnancy.
Tell me about it.
After having two children for about a year, I decided to remove my tubes so I wouldn’t get pregnant again; and then, to my surprise, I discovered I was four weeks pregnant with a third child. I felt anxious like I had never felt during my last two pregnancies. I was finishing up my second semester when I found out; my teacher had said “don’t get pregnant.” I cried to my husband. The only thing that kept me from getting more depressed was I knew we were having a daughter.
So what did you do?
I got advice from Professor Smith who suggested when the time comes for me to deliver instead of taking time off, I should look into possibly dividing my semesters. I then spoke with Dean Drossulis who worked with me and answered every question I had. She shared her story of the way fate works sometimes, which was a great support. Ultimately, I took the advice to break up my study, take some time off while I was pregnant but still go to school part time so I could also be at home with the boys. It extended my study to three years; but it helped so much with childcare.
How did that affect how long it would be before you graduated?
I started the ADN program June 14, 2021 and I was supposed to graduate in May 2023. It meant now I wouldn’t graduate for another year, until August 9, 2024.
Was it hard, lengthening the time it took to finish, to keep committed to it?
It was definitely hard. There were a lot of challenges besides financial and childcare; I didn’t have the family support other students had, but I did have support. Studying was always hard for me, I had to retake a course one time. I would beat myself up, watching the other classmates I knew moving forward and me having to wait.
Instructor Gilley shared a story with me about his mom and her struggles that gave me the chills: about how she became a nurse while having kids, and how successful her life is now. There are also so many resources available in the program; I just had to accept my journey was different than the peers I started with.
That’s hard to do.
It’s about keeping a positive attitude, having faith…having gotten through it now, I can say I’m grateful. I am so glad we have our daughter, Amara. Her name means grace. She was meant to be. I had to wait for my graduation, but the end of my pregnancy worked out perfectly. I started having labor right before the end of the semester, then it stopped the day before my final. I took the final and she was born the next day. I had a C-section; she was 10 lbs, 4 oz! And luckily, I had two months before clinicals began to be with her.
